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Monday, August 27, 2012

My own death experience


This is really personal so please respect this but, I was recently asked by one of my clients  who is in the last stages of Lou Gehrig's disease and can no longer control any part of his body except his eyes and his mind, if I could tell him about my own death experience.

 I wanted to share this with you too.

 I was rushed to  the hospital late on a Sunday night in a little tiny rural community hospital that had no surgeons in the hospital at the time with a ruptured fallopian tube from an ectopic pregnancy. I did not even know I was pregnant. But sometimes the embryo gets caught in the fallopian tube and continues to develop there and grows too big there and makes the fallopian tube full of rich nutrients and blood supply burst, causing internal bleeding and death without immediate surgery.

I went to visit some friends in the country that day and was having a great time when I suddenly started to feel very sick. I asked if I could lie down somewhere and they took me to a bedroom with an adjoining bathroom. I laid down but the room began to spin and I felt queasy and began throwing up and a headache and diarrhea and just everything  was blowing out of me everywhere and I was passing out on the bathroom floor and I could barely get the attention of my friends in the other room before I passed out completely. This all happened in just two hours. They put me in their car and drove me to the hospital which was a bad choice as the EMTs could have done more for me and probably would have saved my life. I learned to always call an ambulance and never try to take someone to the hospital yourself . By the time they got me to the hospital the emergency doctors were trying to rouse me and they have put the pants of life on me, which are compression sleeves on your legs and lower torso  to cut of the flow of blood to the lower body because you are bleeding out, trying to keep what blood you have left in the upper body to the brain and heart. They were able to wake me up long enough for me to see I was in a hospital. I could feel them hovering around me and then I noticed I was looking down at myself lying on a gurney with 5 people hovering around that body there. I felt perfectly OK! IN fact I was not panicked or in pain or in any way upset at all. It felt good to be released from that body and so I was just watching what was going on as if I was astral travelling.

Then I started to see my whole life playing out, close to my eyes as if a holographic movie was playing. Not inside me but not far outside me either. And it was moving very fast through every incident of my life from the present moment backwards through every event and situation I had ever experienced. But instead of just being memories, I was revisiting actual sections of my past and hearing what people were thinking and seeing what other people were doing and saying who where not even present in that situation. So it was like a bunch of holograms piled on top of each other showing me not only my experience in that situation but my mother’s experience and thoughts and my fathers experience and thoughts and even strangers who were influenced by that experience and their actions words and thoughts. It was very detailed and very in depth. And so as I watched the past event where I wanted to take my 3 year old on a camping trip to Colorado, I saw my mother getting all upset as she did. But I also could hear her thinking that I was moving to Colorado and she didn’t’ want me to take her grandchild away. AT the time, she tried to get custody of my child because she really believed I was moving to Colorado. Of course she did not get custody but I did not know that that time that she felt I was moving away. I did not realize what had made her so upset until this  moment as I watched this event play out.  In fact, in all the events that I saw play out in this holographic experience I could see how my actions effected other people. I could see how my words choices and actions effected other people in good ways or on bad ways. I could see  where I had hurt my dad by disconnecting with him when I was 21. I could see where my ex husband really did hate my guts and wanted me dead. I could see the why of everything that happened. And when I saw how I had hurt my dad I just wanted to reach out to him in this moment ask his forgiveness. And when I saw how much my ex husband hated me and wanted to kill me I could in this moment completely forgive myself for divorcing him. Suddenly everything made sense. And I was able to forgive those people who had hurt me in my life because I could see now the reason why they did what they did to me. I could see how my sister was an emotional wreck at the time I asked her to give me a place to stay and she refused. Everything just made perfect sense! It was a relief to finally understand why my mother shunned me for getting that divorce. And I forgave her for making my life so incredibly hard at that time and not supporting me. And I also asked for forgiveness from everyone who I had harmed  in my life as I saw that in these holograms being played out. . So this whole review of all the events in my life became a simple natural opportunity to ask for and receive forgiveness. To forgive those who had harmed me as I was there seeing all the reasons why things had occurred the way they did. It was very cathartic! And beautiful too!

And then I saw that white Light that everybody talks about that leads us to the next state of being in our eternal adventure. And I could feel my grandparents there welcoming me ready to hug me and so many others who I have known in this lifetime seemed to be just hidden in that brilliant white Light and I wanted to go there very much. There was nothing to prevent me from going there and I was just about to go there when I found myself lying in a bed in a room in a hospital. Not the hospital my physical body was in but some other room that seemed like a hospital to me. And here sitting in a chair by my bed was Jesus. And in the other chair was Mary. Remember I was raised Catholic so this makes sense. I think if I were Buddhist I would have seen Buddha sitting in that chair.
And I was happy to see Jesus and Mary and they smiled at me and Jesus took my hand and it felt so wonderful and beautiful and I was so happy.
And Jesus asked me if I was ready to come home. And the first thing without hesitation was YES!

But then I remembered my daughter. She was only 3 years old at the time. And I began to think about who is going to raise her? My parents were too old. Her father was a creep, there was no one to raise her up. And I had made a solemn vow to God that if he would give me a child I would do my best to raise her up to be a beautiful daughter of God. And so I looked at  Jesus sitting there and said, you know, you gave me the gift of my daughter and I made a promise to you to raise her to adulthood. I think I would like to keep my promise to you and to her. And Jesus looked at me and his face saddened and he had sorrow in his eyes and he Said. “ Its not going to be easy, you know.” And I said , I know. And Mary smiled a smile of encouragement at me and Jesus touched my third eye and suddenly I was in horrendous pain!- the worst pain of my life as waves of electric shock coursed through my body. And I came to as they were applying the paddles of life to shock my heart back into beating again.
They saw I was alive once more, I had regained consciousness, and they began to quickly wheel me into surgery.

Later I learned that I was in the ER being worked on for 49 minutes which was how long it took the surgeon to make it to the hospital from his home and I was dead for 4 minutes and they had to give me 8 quarts of blood which is an entire full body transfusion. Yes it did change my life from that point.

Well I have raised my daughter into a wonderful woman who now is married and has one daughter of her own and is expecting her second daughter in October. She is beautiful and smart and everything that I would have wished for.

I feel I have accomplished my mission in this world and I am looking forward to going into that Light that is so beautiful and made me so so happy when I first saw it 3 decades ago.
IN the meantime I try to be an example of someone who understands the purpose of the universe and lives within the guiding principles that Creator used to create this physical place and I spend my days gaining new perceptions of Creator.
There is nothing unpleasant or untoward or difficult about crossing over into our true intrinsic state of being One in Creator.. We do not lose our personalities at all.

 I feel that it is simply transitioning from one state of being into a another state of being.

 I was not less than I am now. I was simply  with body or without body. And in my case when I was released from that body that was suffering, it was a pleasant experience indeed!

WE go on forever! WE are eternal spiritual beings. We were given this body to use as a vehicle to get to know Creator more intimately. We were given this body with inner and outer senses to perceive Creator in every tree , every blade of grass, everything that Creator created with His own Essence is here in this world for us to perceive Creator in! that is it! There is no other purpose other than to get to know God! When we leave here we leave behind these physical senses so we can no longer perceive God in this world in this way. That is why the body is such a valuable and precious tool. But it is only a tool for this life experience and it is not needed for the rest of our eternal lives. We continue to perceive Creator but not in this physical way in this physical world.

You will never lose your memories or your connections with the people you love. You will never lose anything but your physical body and the ability to perceive with physical senses in this physical world. But this physical world is just a tiny speck in the universe of God. There is so much more to do when  you leave this body. Its an eternal adventure of Love and Light and Peace and JOY!

I hope what I experienced helps you to understand that you are not judged, you are not condemned no matter what your life adventure was like for you. There are no pearly gates, no judgments whatsoever involved. You are already the son of God! You don’t have to qualify for what is already your birthright! Learn to recognize yourself as the son of God and all is well.

My teaching here for you:

"When you wake up every morning, are you aware straightaway how privileged you are? You have arms, legs, hands, a mouth, ears, eyes… Suppose you woke up one morning to find you could no longer see or hear or move a limb… That can happen – or you might not wake up at all!… But every morning you wake up with all your faculties, and you are not even aware of it; you are not grateful. Treasures and extraordinary possibilities are yours, but because you are short of money or have not had the success you had hoped for, you are forever complaining, rebelling and making yourself unhappy. If you think about it a little, you will realize the extent of your ingratitude and lack of intelligence.
Learn to give thanks every day. The moment you wake up in the morning and realize that you are there in one piece, with all your faculties, ready to begin a new day, give thanks and you will feel happy. "

Feel free to contact me here

Shaman Elder Maggie

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